Clarity, Part 2

In this post I will be analyzing several my own writing based on several points presented in the "Clarity" section of the Rules for Writing textbook.

Jorgenson, Anders. "Boat on Clear water at island Solta". 7/12/2007. Public Domain.

1. Active Verbs

a.     The section talks about how verbs express meaning more than their counterparts. It explains how verbs in the passive tense lack strength and how the subject either receives the action or does the action based off of the verbs “voice”. It goes into detail explaining when it is appropriate to use the passive and active voice and it shows us examples of each.

Example:

            Original: ACL injury is unarguably one of the hardest injuries to withstand.

            Revised: There is no question that an ACL injury in one of the hardest injuries to withstand.

2. Shifts

a.     This section on shifts talks about how papers will shift in the point of view throughout a sentence or a paragraph. It explains that verb tense can be swayed as well as when someone is talking about (I, we, you, or our). This section also advises to not jump from indirect questions to direct questions. Shifts in papers or paragraphs can cause confusion and is ultimately not the correct way to write a paper.

Example:

            Original: Although there has been copious amounts of research done in the sports medicine field, there is no definitive answer to whether or not ACL surgery and OA are related.

            Revised: Although there have been copious amounts of research done in the sports medicine field, there is no definitive answer to whether or not ACL surgery and OA are related.

3. Needed Words

a.     This section talks about how some words are usually left out because while writing you will think that you are using too many words but in reality you are taking out words that will help that meaning of your paragraph. Some words are needed to make comparisons or simply help the reader understand what you are trying to say.

4. Emphasis

a.     The section on emphasis expresses that the ideas that you as a writer put more emphasis on will be the same ideas that gain the most of the reader’s attention. Another main idea is that when combining choppy sentences, it will help the paper because short sentences demand attention.